Haunted by your own dreams
by sweet sonia
Summary: Story about how Zero tries to fight the horrors of his past… Will  he take the help that is given or will he turn it away and rot in his own  hell. First fic... :
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, this is my first fic and I hope you enjoy... :) This is a Kaname/Zero fic so if you dont like the pairing.. don't read..**

**I do not have a beta and would like to have one to help me with this story..**

**~~~~~~~~so anyone who would like to help, please PM me.. :)~~~~~~~~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight, Matsuri Hino does... If I did, Yuuki wouldn't end up with Kaname, Zero would... :) :) :)**

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><p><em><strong>''Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.''<strong>_

**Prologue**

In the middle of the night, a scream was kept blocked in the confinements of the Cross-household in one particular room. The smell of blood hidden by the barriers placed by the silver haired hunter.

Stood in the darkened bedroom, a crazed Kiryu Zero.

Lips within his teeth, pulling… drawing blood, hands scratching at his arms and upper torso…

The smell of blood was in the air, a scream of despair, a cry of loneliness as the hunter curled inwards in a foetal like position to keep himself together. A fruitless attempt at something that was driving him out of control… of himself… of his life…

The hunter lay on his bed hunched, crimson eyes opened wide, tears streaming down his face, legs drawn in and dragging his long, elegant, blooded fingers through his silver locks to keep the pain in however only succeeding in spreading the red with only one thought running across his mind…

"Need to be free…

free from this life…

free from this world…"

Moonlight shone brightly against the dull blackness of the night creating a glow. Nearby a dark haired pureblood stood in all his grace, in his bedroom at the moon dorm staring at the skies with an uneasy feeling deep within.

Unknown to him that a nightmare was just starting!

**xx~END~xx**

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it... please leave a review as this is my first fic and would like to know how I could improve...<strong>

**Sorry it is short but the next chapter's will be longer..**

**Constructive criticism is welcome... :)**

**~R & R~**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry that it's been awhile since I updated but I have been so busy lately with college stuff.. Next step university.. SO can't wait… :) Just broke up from college so I have more free time on hands. I'll try to update faster…**

**This is the background to the story. it will help with the following chapters.**

**This is a Kaname/Zero fic so if you dont like the pairing.. don't read.. :)**

**I do not have a beta and would like to have one to help me with this story..**

**~~~~~~~~so anyone who would like to help, please PM me.. :)~~~~~~~~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight, Matsuri Hino does... If I did, Yuuki wouldn't end up with Kaname, Zero would... :) :) :)**

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><p><em><strong>"Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault"<strong>_

**Chapter 2**

_My throat… _

_ARGH!_

Let us rewind back . . .

##########

My name is Kiryu Zero and I am an 18 year old student at Cross Academy. I live in the Sun dorm on campus but also have my own room at the Chairman Cross' house.

You may be wondering why this is . . . here I will enlighten you on the facts. I encountered a traumatic event five year ago. Aged 13; my parents were killed before our eyes by a vile monster.

A pureblood to be exact; Hio Shizuka

Ichiru is my twin brother. Yes, I, Kiryu Zero have a younger twin called Kiryu Ichiru. He was my life and still is. We were very close however after the encounter with . . . with that _**thing!**_ I was left with nightmares as well as being a disgrace to my kind. I was fighting against becoming the one thing I despised the most. **A vampire**. It is actually pretty funny. A well-known hunter, now a creature that he was brought up to hate and kill. **An ex-human**.

Ichiru, however was left in a comatose state five years ago, and still to this present point in time is at the hospital where he was admitted. I still visit him as often as I can so that he isn't alone. _How could I not?_ However, that may just be what I'm telling myself as although being awake and alive; I am more alone that Ichiru. I seek his comfort more than anything, which is why I visit him constantly. I need him. I need my brother, someone who will understand me and know how to help. More than anything, I just need someone by my side. That was Ichiru. He was half of me and always knew what I needed and how to help. It always worked both ways… we would help each other through everything, even when he became ill, we brother stayed close to one another.

If I were being honest with myself, I would say Ichiru got the better end of the encounter. He didn't become a monster like me but then again what he went through... _Shizuka will pay_, I know that she is alive somewhere, I can sense her… I will not let her win… I love my brother and want him to come back to me. I need him to wake up. Ichiru is all I have left of my past and family.

Aside from me, Chairman Cross is the only person that knows Ichiru is alive, and that is how I want it to stay. The more people that know about him, the more danger his life will be in…

Call me paranoid!

. . . BUT . . .

Ichiru is my weakness.

If I lose him, I will lose myself . . .

#########################################################################

I fight every minute of the day against the inner beast inside so that I can continue living my so-called life; if not for myself, then for Cross Yuuki.

The Chairman adopted Yuuki after she lost her memory. She has lived with him longer than I have and is way too… the best word I can think to describe her as is bubbly…. However, I love her as my sister. I think she got her personality from Cross though. That man is weird and a lot of the time acts like a cartoon…. Kaien Cross is my guardian now as well as Yuuki's but the old fool considers us his children and gets excessively sentimental most of the time trying to get us to call him 'father', it may work on Yuuki but not on me.

I am very grateful towards Cross because I wouldn't be here if it were not for him and Yuuki. He means a lot to me but I would never admit to that.

Just a pointer... Alongside the Sun dorm, there is also the Moon dorm where those bloodsuckers live. Some kind of proposition the Chairman is aiming for.

Stupid old fool

I am Kiryu Zero and I hate vampires!

**xx~TBC~xx**

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it... please leave a review as this is my first fic and would like to know how I could improve...<strong>

**Constructive criticism is welcome... :)**

**~R & R~**


	3. Chapter 3

_**I'm sorry that it's been awhile since I updated but I have no excuses.. life's just been so ARGH!.. so.. um yeh!**_

_**...**_

**This is a Kaname/Zero fic so if you dont like the pairing.. don't read.. :)**

**I do not have a beta and would like to have one to help me with this story..**

**~~~~~~~~so anyone who would like to help, please PM me.. :)~~~~~~~~**

**...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight, Matsuri Hino does... If I did, Yuuki wouldn't end up with Kaname, Zero would... :) :) :)  
>... <strong>

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><p><em>"<strong>Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever."<strong>_

It was a normal day at Cross Academy, the day class students in lessons and the night class asleep in their respected dorms. However it was not exactly like any other day. On the other side of campus, in a stable was a pupil. Kiryu Zero had decided to skip class that particular day thinking himself a hazard; he ended up with Lily in the stables. Lily was a horse that, very much like Zero, didn't like to be touched by others, however he being the exception. Zero had known Lily for four years; the year he came to live with Chairman Cross at Cross Academy after he was bitten. Lily had taken a liking to him straight away and was never bothered by his presence which Kaien had always joked that they had the same temperament to stand each other. This on the other hand had always irked Zero leaving the Chairman a huge lump on the head. The stables (Lily) had given Zero a place to go when he was upset or wanted to vent out his pent up emotions/stress. Although Lily was a horse, Zero loved her and spoke to her as if she would reply; telling her all his secrets, even though he never got a reply.

###########################################################################

Zero had spent the better half of that particular morning in the stable. Tired as he was, Zero was unable to fall asleep like he would have on any other occasion.

On this particular day everything was different.

Driven by bloodlust, Zero, while on all fours tried to force down some blood tablets however only succeeding in causing himself to be sick. A cry of despair echoed around the barn as the ex-human suffered, trying to control the beast in vain.

##########################################################################

Kaname Kuran was in his dorm room going through the pile of paperwork the council had sent him when there was a knock on the door. Relieved for the interruption from the tedious work at hand, Kaname turned in his seat while beckoning his childhood friend in. "Is there something you needed Takuma, it is quite late now?"

"Ahh sorry Kaname Sama…"

"How many times have I told you...? There is no need for formalities; we've known each other since we were children. _Kaname_ will do just fine."

"Hai Kaname Sa... Kaname" At this Kaname shook his head while Takuma grinned.

"Why is it that you are here?" Kaname finally asked. At this Takuma sobered up.

"Oh, yeah there was something. I was on my way towards my room but I smelt blood. It doesn't smell like human blood but though there isn't a lot of it, it piqued my attention and I'm sure the rest of the night class who have noticed will think the same." At the intense gaze he was receiving, Takuma began to blabber. "I mean… err I thought you'd want to know before some of the night class go to investigate. The scent is quite intense and… and…."

"Takuma… calm down! Yes, thank you for telling me however I am aware of whose it is. I will take notice of this right away."

Taken as a dismissal, Takuma turned after bidding the pureblood prince a 'goodnight'*. Sighing to himself, Kaname got up from his seat and left his room towards a certain hunter in the stables.

#########################################################################

'_My throat… argh!'_ Can't breathe… Pain… Red….

Zero, in all his might tried to control himself. However to his despair, the burn in his throat was only getting worse.

'_Need blood… need to control the thirst… not gonna give into the beast…. DAMN!'_

He was sprawled on the ground, his knees barely holding him up while his hands occupied his throat.

"Kiryu"

'_NO! GO AWAY! DAMN WHY IS HE HERE! THE BASTARD! HE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS! NO!'_

"Finally the beast consumes you... you're descending to a level E"

Gathering all the strength he had, Zero raised his head, crimson eyes meeting burgundy. "Go away!" he rasped out with all the hatred he could muster up at present.

"And if I don't…" the pureblood replied back clearly enjoying the scene before him.

Leaning against the entrance of the barn he began, his voice deeply dark, "You're sinking; you're becoming the worst of our kind, the ones you go around killing mercilessly. A monster... beast… how does it feel, becoming the one thing you hate the most. Soon you won't have any control over your actions; you will go on a killing spree and destroy everything that you tried so hard to protect….. In vain….._ex-hunter_..."

"STOP!" Zero shouted, his body shaking violently. "Go away!"

From all his fights with Kaname Kuran, this was the first time what he heard really got to him. He knew what he was. What he was becoming? After the first time he ravaged Yuuki's neck, he knew he was becoming a monster but the way Kuran had said it hit a nerve and memories he tried so hard to lock away were slowly resurfacing.

"What do you want? Enjoying the show are you?" he sneered as pain shot through him, making him double over screaming, clawing at his neck, as he tried to hold onto his sanity.

What seemed like hours later, he felt Kuran kneel in front of him, gaining a small ounce of control, Zero looked up looking as wild as ever…

Crazy, disheveled hair

Tattered, covered in blood uniform

Scorching blood red eyes

White fang points showing…

… while breathing hard

Overall a ragged appearance

**x-x**

Sighing, Kaname began unbuttoning the top of his shirt after removing the tie from his attire. "You are not to touch Yuuki, this is for her. I will not let you hurt her with your selfishness. Remember you are only alive because of Yuuki or I'd have killed you right here. My Pureblood essence will now run in that useless body of yours. You will always remember who gave you life again. You worthless level…" Kaname's speech was stopped by a growl.

"NO! Go away! I would rather die than be in debt with you. You stupid bloodsucker" he panted while trying to hide how affected he was by the words. The violent shakes that coursed throughout his body, on the hand, he could not stop but with the pain of blood lust, it went unnoticed by Kaname.

Losing his patience, Kaname growled while making a small cut on his neck, "Drink!"

Not able to control the blood lust any longer with the scent of a Pureblood, the purest blood of them all Zero lunged; forgetting all reason he grabbed Kaname's head and bit viciously into the tempting neck, ignoring a cry of pain below him.

Thick, creamy liquid surged down his throat, beginning to warm up his insides leaving behind a tangy sensation. He had never tasted anything so.. so…. His taste buds were tingling setting his whole body on fire. He let out a moan.

After drinking to his heart's content, he moved away groggily; satisfied; before realizing who the donor was.

He stared at Kaname with a horrified expression crossing his features before darkness clouded his existence.

"You owe me!" was the last thing he heard before _*thump*_

_#_

_#_

_#_

He may have thought he was holding onto his sanity from becoming a monster, but he would soon find out it was the least of his worries. Not knowing that holding onto his sanity would mean something completely different.

**xx~TBC~xx**

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><p><em><strong>*Is it supposed to be goodnight or good day…. Because technically it is day time…<strong>_

_****Hope you enjoyed it... please leave a review****_

**Constructive criticism is welcome... :)**

**~R & R~**


	4. PETITION

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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